Emiliana Simon-Thomas and Jeremy Adam Smith observed that, “Americans are very grateful and they think gratitude is important—they’re just not very good at expressing it.” In our world of constant and chronic stressors, it takes intentional effort to recognize, appreciate, and savor the good things in our lives. But when we do, we create conditions for our relationships to thrive: savoring positive experiences, expressing thanks, and receiving gratitude from others.

As we approach our national observance of Thanksgiving, we are being asked to also give respectful reflection to the Indigenous Nations who were here thousands of years before Europeans sailed across the Atlantic in little wooden ships. Guilt for the centuries of genocide, enslavement, and pathological land theft hardly makes sense in the 21st century. What we need now is understand about how we got here and not some exercise in self-flagellation for the sins of our ancestors (though reparations might make for a good conversation!).

US borders are almost always in the news, ubiquitous even to the point of invisibility. But the abusive treatment of Haitian refugees last September, from administrative policies to violent border patrolmen on horseback, was a stark reminder of their cruelty. Political borders are real and have real impacts, but they are not objective or neutral. Their history, along with their psychosocial meanings, reflect the inequalities of colonial violence. We need to think deeply about, and act courageously, in favor of honoring our shared humanity and our relationship to the earth.

While the disappearance of anyone is tragic, the way the media exhaustively covers the disappearance of beautiful, young, white women compared with the silence around the disappearance of tens of thousands of women of color shows more than a media bias, it reveals a self perpetuating racism in the way the public shows more concern about white victims than we do about non-white victims. The real roots of racism hide, not only in our institutions but inside our own brains and that is where we have to go to end the generation after generation education in racism.